Luke

I am sure you all know about dog farts. Or at least most of you do. But my dog Luke has the most disgusting, offensive farts of any dog or beast that walks the Earth. You are sitting there and suddenly you are ambushed, a FOG of stench so repulsive has surrounded you. And you cannot get rid of it, it clings to you, to the air, to everything. You cannot walk away, it will follow you and repulse you for at least half an hour.

Luke's farts are more like a plague. Kind of like swine flu. Eveyone is fine and happy, and suddenly people are dropping dead all over the place. I remember swine flu when I was a kid, and it was killing tons of people, and the lines for the swine flu shot were miles long even though the shot could kill you. My parents took it seriously after it didn't disappear after a few weeks, and one day we all got in the car and drove over to city hall where they were giving swine flu shots. We drove by and my dad asked if we should get on line (he hated lines so we went to six flags on weekdays that it rained and left at 6am for the beach and joined a private ski resort so we did not have to wait on lines). My dad reminded us we could die. I was insanely afriad of needles of any kind back then, so I immediately suggested we wait another week to see what happened. My father immediately agreed and we went home.

I will never know if he was worried about his children dying or if he just didn't want to wait on line for it. I like to think he didn't want anything bad to happen to us due to a panic over a disease, but I can't be sure, ever. Either way, it doesn't really matter much. I didn't have to suffer the painful, death causing shot. And I am still thankful!