Going Up, or Going Down?

I can tell you the exact moment that I realized God was real.  I could tell you it was because of the book, A Prayer For Owen Meany, because it was the most wonderful and heart wrenching book I have ever read.  I still can't think about the final page without tearing up and wanting to hug the darn book.  I wish Owen Meany was real, and I am convinced he was real, because nobody could just make him up.  Owen Meany made me want to believe in God.

 I could tell you it was my 1st grade argument with a Nun in CCD.  That was a good one, how many Nuns do you think have had a 6 year old child asking them to show them the contract they signed at birth accepting Adam and Eve's Original Sin as their own?  I am guessing not too many.  For some reason, I was a little pissed off that I had to pay for someone else's mistakes.  Little did I know that would become my specialty in life, fixing mistakes that others made. 

But I must be honest, God hit me smack in the middle of my forehead one day, and I will never forget it.  I was in my 20's, my best friend from childhood was engaged, and I made a bad choice and spent the night with her fiancé's brother.  It was something I brushed off and never thought about again, until I went to the rehearsal at the church.  I had been to this church many times growing up, I often went to church with my friend.  Her parents were always so kind and seemed happy that I wanted to go with them (it was much more gentle than my Roman Catholic church experience)  So, after years of not being in town, I drove to the church and parked in the back lot, where we had parked while I was growing up so many times. 

I went to the little back door, and inside there were 2 sets of stairs, one going up and one going down.  I wasn't sure where to go for the rehearsal, and as I looked down I noticed the Pastor (a new one, someone I had not met before), so I asked, "Am I going up, or am I going down?"  I guess I just expected him to know that I was there for my friend's wedding rehearsal.  I always expect people to know what I am thinking!  So, the Pastor looked at me for a moment, and he smiled and said, "Oh, you are going UP!". 

Suddenly I realized that a holy minister had just told me I was going UP.  I thanked him and excitedly skipped up the stairs to the chapel.  And just as I walked in the door, the only person there was right in the door and it was the fiancé's brother!!!!  I just looked up and mentally told God, "OK, I get your point.  I am not there yet!"   And after that I never made a bad choice like that again.  Because I want to go UP.  Not that it guarantees it, but I felt something real and knew the path I had to follow. 

So, God does have a sense of humor.  But He still means business.  And I am totally on board now.  Better late than never, right? 

Things I Shouldn't Have Done

Today the Joan Jett song, "I Hate Myself For Loving You" was on the radio, and I enjoyed a flashback to my college days.  For some reason, the year AFTER the Joan Jett concert at our university was what I was thinking about.  It was a really bad choice on the part of the student leadership, a school popular with financial majors, thus financially conservative, hired Bobcat Goldthwaite for a comedy show. 

I was a member of the board or something, I really can't remember.  But I was expected to be there to assist the roadies if needed while they were setting up, and if you were lucky you'd get to meet Bob.  I was just biding my time before going out to a bar with Brenda and Anthony, although we were definitely going to see the show.  The three of us were pretty liberal and irreverent at the time. 

So, there I was in my tight jeans, plain V-neck shirt and jean jacket, with my pale blonde long, wavy rock and roll hair, watching these guys set up the stage.  I did not look like the other preppy kids who were there to assist.  So, one of the roadies came up to me and asked me if I could sell him some pot.  I told him I didn't do that but I could probably introduce him to someone who might be able to help him out.  I got Brenda, and the roadie met us at the entrance to the dorms, and I signed him in (NYC school, guards!)  I went to a guy's room, introduced them, and they went into the room while Brenda and I made sure nobody else was around in the hallway.  The guy was thrilled and asked us if we wanted to party with them all, and of course we were not interested.  He was confused, why in the world would I help him when we weren't interested at all in hanging with Bob or getting high for free.  I just explained I was there to help, as directed by the upper level people on the committee. 

Anyway, the show was a bomb.  Financial majors do not find Bob funny at all.  Brenda and Anthony and I laughed our brains out, at the lack of response and at the jokes.  Then the roadie dragged me back after the show to meet Bob.  I really didn't want to, but didn't have a choice.  When I walked into the room, Bob did a double-take, I looked more hippie next to all the kids in suits and preppie clothes.  The roadie told him I "helped" them out tonight, and Bob was all happy and thanked me profusely.  I shook his hand, got a flag signed for Pat Norton (a guy from the dorms) and ran out of there so fast.  It was face time at the Raccoon, after all!!! 

So many memories, meaningless out of the moment, but so fun to remember.  :-)