Crazy Daze

Look at how lazy I've become, it's been almost a week since I posted something!  I am SURE you're all dying to know how I am doing!!!  ;-)

It's not looking very good for my voice at this point.  It's still all over the place and I am starting to wonder if it will come back.  The surgeon did not tell me not to talk, and I've been talking a heck of a lot but even after hours of not talking, I sound like Mickey Mouse half the time. 

I am quite sure that if anything is to blame for my continued voice retardation, it is the damn cat.  Bindi, the Jungle Girl.  I'm starting to regret saving her life.  Two days ago, I was sitting here on the couch, innocently playing a game on FB or checking my emails, and I got up to do something that I am quite sure was important.  At least, it was important until I walked across the rug and got something stuck on the bottom of my sneaker.  It is moments like this that I am quite sure God is real and loves me, because He made sure I had sneakers on this time, and He made sure they were cheap ones.  Why, you ask?  Because, I pulled my foot up to come face to face with the bottom of my sneaker, never, ever being prejudiced in my thoughts that it's best to keep your face FAR away from anything that makes you curious.  For example, when one of my girl scouts brought a cute gift bag to our meeting, she came in all smiles and happy and held it out to me.  I opened the bag and stuck my face all the way in the bag and came face to face with a RAT!  A LIVE RAT!  I jumped at least 40 feet and screamed like a lunatic, running around in circles for at least 5 minutes.  It was awful.

So, if I am that freaked out by a clean pet rat, imagine my reaction when I turned up my sneaker and was face to face with the body of a vole with it's guts pouring out of it!!! STUCK to my SHOE!!!  I am quite sure we would have won $10,000 had anyone been there to videotape it.  Sadly, I flipped out and screamed at the top of my teeny, tiny little voice for at least 10 minutes and my son Guy finally heard me squeaking and came out, took the sneaker that I'd already kicked off, and threw it outside for me.  He was my little hero.  I still do not know where the shoe is.  Guy offered to scrape it off and I told him NO, it was damaged goods and I was never wearing them again.  Again, thankfully they were not my expensive sneakers, but my cheapo ones. 

I think I need a rug that is lighter in color and doesn't hide critters.  This is the second time I've stepped on one, the first being a live mouse that SNAPPED, CRACKED AND POPPED when I stepped on it.  I will never eat Rice Crispies again.  It was horrific, and the socks I was wearing were burned within hours of the terror. 

So, I am doing okay, still have spears jamming into my armpits, although way more one than the other side.  The 3 lymph node removal side is the bad one, can't reach in for mail, up for dishes, or out to lower the shower water heat.  Or down on either side.  Or else ZAP!  I feel like Eragon after the Shade injured him.  Crippled instantaneously in a bad moment.  UGH.

So, how's your life going?  Any dead things stuck to your feet????

WOW

I just read that last posting and it is BORING!!!  I could have had such fun with the slashed throat, the kiddie voice, and the Vlad the Impaler ghost spearing my armpits, and what did I say?  NOTHING!!  Sorry, you can tell I am a bit off today!

This is where it gets a bit boring

I am approaching 2 weeks from the last operation, and starting to get bored.  The problem is, if I do too much of anything, I get really tired or I move my arm the wrong way and it feels like someone is jamming a spear into my armpits.  I'm amazed at how much it hurts.  And my chest hurts a lot too, to the point where I am really looking forward to the mastectomy.

I also feel like a fraud since friends are still bringing me food and I just have a horse voice and look okay most of the time.  I've cancelled a few deliveries because we were getting a ton of food, but John is back at work this week and it really is a load off my back to not have to cook dinner.  Tomorrow I plan on shopping for tank tops that are tight enough to wear without a bra (which is quite painful to wear, even a soft sports bra with front attachments), so I will be wiped out after that.

Another interesting thing is that I have to explain my voice for phone calls.  People think I am a kid calling and so I've had to explain repeatedly that I am an adult who just had a throat operation.  Then they're like, "Ohhhhh, okay." and they finally listen to me.  This is why I have my wonderful popcorn kernels for Boy Scouts helping me by delivering my storefront requests!  I also don't want to go in and flash my big scar on my neck, it looks like someone slashed my throat! 

In addition to the good news...

My friend Chris made me a pair of earings from polymer clay (she is very good with clay, she made a whole Finding Nemo set and it looks like she bought it at Disney) that were boobs!!!  I think they are hilarious, and my friend Amy says that you can't tell what they are until you get really close and then it still takes a lot of looking. 

Anyway, Chris sells jewelry online, and at my suggestion she added the earings to her site.  She is donating money to Susan G Komen from them and to be perfectly honest, they really are cute.  PLUS, she named them Mary's Boobs, so you too can own the first piece of jewelry that was ever named after me!!!!  Check it out, I like the stuff she makes that don't have boobs too!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/victoriouscat

GOOD NEWS!

After a sleepless night freaking out because the surgeon did not call me with the report on my lymph nodes and thyroid tumor, I was completely surprised at our appointment today when she said all lymph nodes and the thyroid were all cancer free!!!  This is great because it gives me great odds on not having to have chemo after the mastectomy.  I was all prepared for the mastectomy to be moved up and the reconstruction to be put off for a long time, and it's all good news!!!  YAY! 

So the next operation is July and I am feeling really good about it even though it's a big one.  Have a good weekend!!

Violet Beauregard

Today, I was not good.  I drank 3 cups of decaf coffee, did very little all day, and drank no water.  Who would think it would affect me adversely?  After all, I am well on the path to healing from the operation, it's been a week.  SEVEN DAYS.  So, I finally decide to use the bathroom, and it's GREEN.  That nuclear blue dye is still in my system 7 days later and now I am feeling a bit like Violet Beauregard in Willy Wonka.  She's the one who took the dinner gum and blew up into a big blueberry.  Am I like Violet but blue/green when it's dark, and the nuclear part would be neon so am I now a big neon blue/green stick when I'm sitting in the dark?  Is some girl scout leader going to sneak up on me and hang me from a tree by the outhouse to light the path for her little scouts in the dark?  I am not so sure I like having this in my for so long.  I was so good and drank so much water all week that I cannot believe it's still in there!  It's just wrong!

By the way, I am freaking out because the surgeon did not call me tonight with the results of the biopsies.  I have an appointment in the morning with her and I am now positive that she's got very bad news for me.  I will not sleep well tonight!!!  ARRGHH!

Hit the Wall Today

Today was the first day I did not feel better than the day before.  I was ill and tired all day.  Perhaps this is because I had to give up the codeine today!  I actually didn't have to, but I decided that I could live without the pills during the daytime, so I just stopped.  Have you ever seen Trainspotting?  Excellent movie, but really gross in the drug addiction department.  I have vivid memories of the guy going off heroin:

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: "I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way."

I read that and it's a little bit like it in that guy as my body seems to be dying without the codeine.  It certainly is not happy I took it away.  Either that or I have a severe infection and I'll be dead by morning, so let's hope it's the codeine withdrawal.