For those of you who are not fortunate enough to have met Gary, I'd like you to know that he does have a heart. Frankly, I think he's brillant (ok, and obnoxious sometimes) and hilarious. Oh, and evil. I think they modeled Dr. Evil on Austin Powers after Gary sometimes. Either that or Mini Me. The only thing that upset me in his email (which I have kindly provided for you here) is that Mario Battali has not lost on Iron Chef. I bought a cookbook of his from Amazon.com, and was shocked, appalled and disgusted to find that nearly every recipe had brains, livers, kidneys, or some other grotesque organ in it. There's only one organ that goes in my mouth, and it's still connected to my husband. Oh, does the tongue count? Two then.
So, that being said, I am going to have to become an avid fan of Iron Chef America to see if Mario the organ chef loses. He is no Morimoto, trust me. Mario, that is. Gary, he is sort of a Morimoto of words.
Sorry to hear about your father in law Mary. My condolences to both you and John, and please pass on our best wishes to the rest of the family. Our thoughts are with you.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Now, as for this blog thing. I’m all for stream of consciousness and Seinfeldesque “observationalisms”. I’m very happy you got in touch with Lisa the Brit. Warmed the cockles of my heart (if that’s where cockles are…personally I’ve never seen any cockles and if women have them I’ve never noticed them). BUT… I expect you to put some meat in this thing and actually approach some issues that matter. You know, things like…What’s up with the color of Obama’s lips? Are they liver colored? Is that where the term liver lips comes from? And will the Democratic campaign degenerate into name calling with this type of exchange;
OBAMA: Hey, what’s up? Why don’t you drop out, cankles???
HILLARY: Shut your damn mouth, liver lips!!!
Obviously we’re approaching that now with Carville ready to crucify anyone as a Judas who dares to see that they are backing a losing horse and jumps on the magic school bus with Obama.
You don’t have to stay political. Social commentary will be acceptable. ie Will chef Batali ever lose to anyone? Is he truly the unbeatable Iron Chef? And more importantly, would someone please ask him to wear some pants? I don’t think anyone would be able to be held legally responsible for brash action taken, and I mean of the most serious nature, if they have to see his hairy elephant sized stumps clad in white socks and clogs one more time.
These are just a couple of examples of the kind of thought provoking, brain stimulating, consciousness raising drivel that I have come to expect from you. Don’t let me down. Doing so would force me back into the arms of the walking dead commentators and bloggers that have somehow maneuvered themselves onto respectable news sites. I rely on you to remain unrespectable. It’s what I love about you, so please, no more about hearing from old pals like Lisa the Brit. I don’t even like my friends so why would I care about yours.
Charmingly yours, Gary
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