wretched

sometimes i am really wretched. sometimes i am really really nice. i wonder some days if people think the really nice days are just a show, and the really mean days are the only me. those are the ones who have no clue. i enjoy being really nice much more than anything. it gives me a pure, positive feeling that I so enjoy. I'm no movie star, but i can make a difference in anyone's life by making an effort to be nice and helpful.

I also admit that the high of verbally slamming someone is a great appreciation in my life. But the difference is that I don't do it unless I feel the other person is being really mean and unfair. They always seem so shocked, to be counted among the heartless, the mean, the self centered. I laugh at that. They never have a clue. I have to admit that I despise people like that. I also have to admit that I thoroughly enjoy helping my friends, family and neighborhood.

I do wish people would leave their "health clubs" and country clubs and put their energy and physical efforts into the neighborhood. They might find they like the people they ignore.