The Spirit In The Sky

So much for a vacation being relaxing. I thought it was going to go great, got packed way on time, got to the airport, loaded the plane and even took off on time. We met up with Tyler in San Francisco and off we went to Australia.

We even got our own row, every other person in a seat. How often does that happen anymore!!! So, the flight leaves at 11:30 pm, Guy drops off to sleep almost immediately. Chloe does too, and Tyler spread out on the three seats in our row as I gave him my extra seat.

I even fell asleep for a while. Then I woke up, and on the giant screens all over the plane was a map with our plane over……nothing. There was ocean, ocean, ocean. It stated that we were 4,000 miles from the good old USA. And about 6 billion miles from Australia. Great progress, you say? Not me. All I thought about was if our airplane crashed, nobody was going to get there to pick us up until well after we were dinner for some giant sea creature.

That’s when the fun started. Yes, my favorite and yours, turbulence. It sounds like a disease, and really, it should be considered a plague. Our gigantic plane was so long that it bounced on the airstrip while driving. During turbulence, it bounced and felt like it was about to snap. I was the sole awake soul on the plane, and not a rosary was in sight. What’s a girl to do? DWELL. I dwelled on the idea that, if the plane snapped in half, we were in the back half and therefore would likely hit the water with much less force than the front half of the plane. Some of us might actually survive a 30,000 foot fall. Right? But then again, I admitted that perhaps falling that far might make us go SO deep into the ocean that we would not be able to swim back up. Ok, Mary – Dead. John – Dead. I can’t continue.

Then I consoled myself with the thought that perhaps we would all pass out from the rapid decline in height, and would never know we were dead until we floated up to Heaven, or somewhere else in my case. That might be livable.

But I found myself hoping that, if we were doomed, we would just suddenly blow up. That seemed to be the least aware I could be of impending death. So after a few hours of this cheerful, “we’re going on vacation to the land of deadliest creatures” imagery dancing through my head, I made a big decision. I ordered a vodka & tonic. This despite the fact that I was well aware they did not have any lime slices. It was a big move. I had my drink, and fell into a restless nap. I had some weird dreams, but I will share that story another day.

Just in case you were curious, I am writing this to you from Surfer’s Paradise in Australia. It’s on the Gold Coast. Surfer’s Paradise is considered to be the most crudely commercialistic location in all of Australia. So I am wondering, maybe THIS is Heaven and we just aren’t really aware of it yet. Makes you wonder, hmmmm?