It's already begun...

Kristi is invading my brain with inappropriate things right before I am to be put on the goofy drugs before they put me to sleep. That's when I say stupid things. Kristi just called me to let me know her husband discovered that hospitals do provide alcoholic beverages when prescribed by the doctor. Now, it's bad enough that I say stupid things before a surgeon sticks a knife in me, but to ask for a Mai Tai is going to be humiliating. Of course, this led to my telling Kristi what I told the doctor when I got an endoscopy and colonoscopy years ago. All drugged up, the doctor tells me she is going to do the endoscopy (you are not quite asleep and not quite awake) and I told the doctor in no uncertain terms "I don't want it in my mouth, stick it in my butt first", to which the doctor replied, "No, we always do the endoscopy first" and I once again insisted I wanted it in the butt first. Thankfully I fell asleep at that point (as far as I know) and woke up saying loudly (I am always loud when on these drugs) "Hey, did you stick it in my butt yet? I don't feel it in there" and my MOM sharply said "Mary! SHUT UP! It's all done!" Then I came to my senses, as always when mom is hugely embarassed, and asked for some food.

Now that all this alcohol and Mai Tai's and tubes in the butt are in my head, I will sleep on it and go in to the hospital tomorrow and make a complete idiot of myself. Unfortunately, I cannot move across the country again as I did after the endoscopy and colonoscopy. So my surgeon will have a hard time looking me in the eye after tomorrow. I pity her.