So, new ways to die actually was true. Scores of people raced out to the rivers last weekend during the "heat" wave (85 degrees with no humidity!) and John spent all day Saturday pulling people out of the river who were in danger. Of course, there were a few dopey ones who swam to an island and refused to swim back because the water was too cold. DUH.
It was all over the news, endless reminders and warnings that the rivers are full of RAPID ICE MELT, which is REALLY COLD and DANGEROUS. So you would think that people would wear life preservers just to make sure, but no, lots of them did not. One kayaker was experienced and wearing a life jacket, and he is toast. It's a shame, but it's not like we all weren't warned three thousand times on TV and radio not to go jump in the river. I did not jump in the river, and I made it through the weekend without using up all my deodorant. And voila! I am alive!
Smelly and alive is better than death, because you very rarely smell good when you are dead. Or so I've heard.
Of course, now my smart mouth is going to be run over by a Mack Truck for being so smug. Or else God will be really kind and just let me live a long life before He sends me Straight to Hell.
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