Look at how lazy I've become, it's been almost a week since I posted something! I am SURE you're all dying to know how I am doing!!! ;-)
It's not looking very good for my voice at this point. It's still all over the place and I am starting to wonder if it will come back. The surgeon did not tell me not to talk, and I've been talking a heck of a lot but even after hours of not talking, I sound like Mickey Mouse half the time.
I am quite sure that if anything is to blame for my continued voice retardation, it is the damn cat. Bindi, the Jungle Girl. I'm starting to regret saving her life. Two days ago, I was sitting here on the couch, innocently playing a game on FB or checking my emails, and I got up to do something that I am quite sure was important. At least, it was important until I walked across the rug and got something stuck on the bottom of my sneaker. It is moments like this that I am quite sure God is real and loves me, because He made sure I had sneakers on this time, and He made sure they were cheap ones. Why, you ask? Because, I pulled my foot up to come face to face with the bottom of my sneaker, never, ever being prejudiced in my thoughts that it's best to keep your face FAR away from anything that makes you curious. For example, when one of my girl scouts brought a cute gift bag to our meeting, she came in all smiles and happy and held it out to me. I opened the bag and stuck my face all the way in the bag and came face to face with a RAT! A LIVE RAT! I jumped at least 40 feet and screamed like a lunatic, running around in circles for at least 5 minutes. It was awful.
So, if I am that freaked out by a clean pet rat, imagine my reaction when I turned up my sneaker and was face to face with the body of a vole with it's guts pouring out of it!!! STUCK to my SHOE!!! I am quite sure we would have won $10,000 had anyone been there to videotape it. Sadly, I flipped out and screamed at the top of my teeny, tiny little voice for at least 10 minutes and my son Guy finally heard me squeaking and came out, took the sneaker that I'd already kicked off, and threw it outside for me. He was my little hero. I still do not know where the shoe is. Guy offered to scrape it off and I told him NO, it was damaged goods and I was never wearing them again. Again, thankfully they were not my expensive sneakers, but my cheapo ones.
I think I need a rug that is lighter in color and doesn't hide critters. This is the second time I've stepped on one, the first being a live mouse that SNAPPED, CRACKED AND POPPED when I stepped on it. I will never eat Rice Crispies again. It was horrific, and the socks I was wearing were burned within hours of the terror.
So, I am doing okay, still have spears jamming into my armpits, although way more one than the other side. The 3 lymph node removal side is the bad one, can't reach in for mail, up for dishes, or out to lower the shower water heat. Or down on either side. Or else ZAP! I feel like Eragon after the Shade injured him. Crippled instantaneously in a bad moment. UGH.
So, how's your life going? Any dead things stuck to your feet????
It's not looking very good for my voice at this point. It's still all over the place and I am starting to wonder if it will come back. The surgeon did not tell me not to talk, and I've been talking a heck of a lot but even after hours of not talking, I sound like Mickey Mouse half the time.
I am quite sure that if anything is to blame for my continued voice retardation, it is the damn cat. Bindi, the Jungle Girl. I'm starting to regret saving her life. Two days ago, I was sitting here on the couch, innocently playing a game on FB or checking my emails, and I got up to do something that I am quite sure was important. At least, it was important until I walked across the rug and got something stuck on the bottom of my sneaker. It is moments like this that I am quite sure God is real and loves me, because He made sure I had sneakers on this time, and He made sure they were cheap ones. Why, you ask? Because, I pulled my foot up to come face to face with the bottom of my sneaker, never, ever being prejudiced in my thoughts that it's best to keep your face FAR away from anything that makes you curious. For example, when one of my girl scouts brought a cute gift bag to our meeting, she came in all smiles and happy and held it out to me. I opened the bag and stuck my face all the way in the bag and came face to face with a RAT! A LIVE RAT! I jumped at least 40 feet and screamed like a lunatic, running around in circles for at least 5 minutes. It was awful.
So, if I am that freaked out by a clean pet rat, imagine my reaction when I turned up my sneaker and was face to face with the body of a vole with it's guts pouring out of it!!! STUCK to my SHOE!!! I am quite sure we would have won $10,000 had anyone been there to videotape it. Sadly, I flipped out and screamed at the top of my teeny, tiny little voice for at least 10 minutes and my son Guy finally heard me squeaking and came out, took the sneaker that I'd already kicked off, and threw it outside for me. He was my little hero. I still do not know where the shoe is. Guy offered to scrape it off and I told him NO, it was damaged goods and I was never wearing them again. Again, thankfully they were not my expensive sneakers, but my cheapo ones.
I think I need a rug that is lighter in color and doesn't hide critters. This is the second time I've stepped on one, the first being a live mouse that SNAPPED, CRACKED AND POPPED when I stepped on it. I will never eat Rice Crispies again. It was horrific, and the socks I was wearing were burned within hours of the terror.
So, I am doing okay, still have spears jamming into my armpits, although way more one than the other side. The 3 lymph node removal side is the bad one, can't reach in for mail, up for dishes, or out to lower the shower water heat. Or down on either side. Or else ZAP! I feel like Eragon after the Shade injured him. Crippled instantaneously in a bad moment. UGH.
So, how's your life going? Any dead things stuck to your feet????
6 comments:
I memorized this poem when I was in 2nd grade. It came to mind after reading your blogpost.
Mud - poem
Mud is very nice to feel
All squishy-squash between the toes!
I'd rather wade in wiggly mud
Than smell a yellow rose.
Nobody else but the rosebush knows
How nice mud feels
Between the toes.
---Polly Chase Boyden
I am changing it in honor of your cat.
"Mouse - poem
Mouse is very nice to feel
All squishy-squash between the toes!
I'd rather wade in wiggly mouse
Than smell a yellow rose.
Nobody else but the rosebush knows
How nice mouse feels
Between the toes."
I stepped in cat-sick the other day.
And my cat is losing his killer instinct. He DID NOT kill this humongous centipede that was in bathtub.
Chris, that is so gross but at the same time, so....grossly thoughtful!!!! Damn rodents sticking to my feet, it's a horror movie in the making. I just need a good title...
Brenda, I am wondering if Screwdriver was sick on beverages of his own name. That would be interesting to see, a drunk Screwy!
I can't believe he didn't kill the centipede! What, was he on strike? Even my dogs would eat a bug, probably because they know I will practically set the house on fire trying to kill it with hairspray and a lighter.
M, I know this was written forever ago, but I neglected to save your blogspot name/address, so it's been a sheer delight to catch up on the last several posts. You reaaaally need to write a book of stories of things that have happened in your life. *I* would buy it...and I'd recommend it to anyone who needs a good laugh, or at least a smile!
That said, your kitty was SO SWEET to gift you with the vole. Very thoughtful!! And a mouse?! We had a cat, Angel Face (yes, I named her when I was 8), who adored us so much she'd often bring us presents that were at least mostly dead. Such love!
I am so glad I can count you among my friends!! I just love you! And your sick sense of humor!!! xoxoxo
LJ
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